We walked through the castle gates at around 2:30pm after frantically searching Cardiff for a new top for our evening party. It wasn't long before the smell of meat hit us. "Pork?" I ask Sarah. "Not right now. Anyway I'm a lesbian." she replied.

With a vibrating pocket (...my phone. Filthy minds, the lot of you) we walked further into Cooper's field. My eyes hit upon a big ride. Most people know him on the scene. The fairground was quite impressive too.

The stage line-up was impressive. Lisa Scott-Lee, Faye Tozer, Noel Sullivan, Nicci French and Headlining the fabulous Charlotte Church introduced by none other than Pride's patron, Russel T Davies.

The lines for the alcohol weren't too bad at all. I was looking to see if Miss Church was at the front of the queue swigging alcopops but someone reminded me that she would be backstage being fed grapes by her hunky boyfriend Gavin Henson (yes he was there too).

As the drinking was getting underway, the heavens opened and we were instantly drenched. Sarah and I ran into one of the market tents. As we were shaking the few drops of rain off us, I looked around and realised we were in the leather stall. My bottom does a little squeeze as my eyes feast upon rows and rows of adult pleasure items - some of which must require a general anesthetic to use properly. The man in front of us spent £65 on an eye-wateringly large lump of rubber... I felt that it would have been cheaper to steal a traffic cone.

The rain was still coming down hard and the stalls around us started to fill up with more and more water. Damn Sian Llloyd and her false weather reports. As it finally started to come to an end we approached the stage we watched with delight as Lisa Scott Lee sexually assaulted a chair. I'm sure if i'd have got my hands on it someone would have paid a handsome price for it on eBay.

Lisa was followed by some other greats including Faye Tozer (fabulous and camper than Christmas - although she looked like she had skinned big bird from sesame street for her outfit).